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[ Isn't this what the world made him? There is no use for regrets. Baek Saheon would not exist if he was not capable of this, an almost perfect detachment from the past. Nothing is permanent, so react to what is in front of you, think only about surviving the next hour. Apathy is peace, memory is slavery, cruelty is strength.

...That is how Baek Saheon is supposed to be. A cold blooded, heartless, impersonal opportunist.

The paper in his hands is very small. Why did Saheon even bother to leave it? He didn't have a plan, but he wasted precious time he could have spent escaping. He didn't bother to do that last week, for people far more useful then one cowardly government employee. He doesn't even know if the Agent survived to see it. ]

guess not
proba bly dead lol

[ The last loop of the 'L" (or the ㅋㅋㅋ since saheon is writing in hangul, obviously) fades off as the cut on Saheon's thumb starts to dry. He really should find a pen.

But the words keep coming, scratched out in increasingly faded and hard to read letters, like the author isn't even intending to be legible anymore. ]

and you said youd live
liar liar liar liar liar liar l

[ and who is that about?

the text melts into the paper, it disappears, word after word drawn by saheon's blood that soleum stares at the responses. he's getting frustrated about someone, he has pegged this to be someone on the other side if he's using it properly. that's the messy side of him soleum was searching for, the one that soleum finds him to be and will be molded into a cold strategist that doesn't care for the well-being of others.

he's still young into the story, he hasn't reached every expedition that perfectly irons him out into that person. there are some hidden on the wikipedia, and the chances of this place being one of the reasons he becomes so vile would make sense. this disaster being a stepstone of how dangerous he is, how untrustworthy baek saheon can be, the makings of an individual who will use any and all advantages even if lives are on the line.

now why does he care who lives or dies?

isn't there other people he should be checking on with this in mind? liar. liar. liar.

liars, that's what saheon says. ]

[ splat. text smacks onto the sheet of paper pre-written, but not in the way that someone has been waiting for a response. it's like messages flood into place, backlogged information that had nowhere to go until now. a clogged pipe now irritated spews water, nothing clean, but it spews something. ]

[ the messages go on and on, and soleum figures that he can add a little something on top for the circumstances. baek saheon's survival comes first, doesn't it, why would he care about someone else living? he's always had these odd quirks showing within his character, and that's why to fix it, he'll adjust the narrative for saheon to take even if these messages are meant to come in like they've been there forever.

it all stops.

any worry.

any concern.

anything.

the paper is empty. ]

[ He didn't lie! He never promised anyone here anything! He told Choi he'd follow him, he swore not to share certain information, he asked him for...he sought the agents help with something, but he didn't promise his loyalty or his life.

What would it mean if he had, anyway? Just because someone treated him well, he should risk his life? Just because they understood him a little, he should let himself be killed?

The agent said they could both live, and if that was a lie too, then Saheon really was wrong to help him at all. There was no reason... No reason at all... He was just another liar.

His scabbed finger hovers above the boat, ready to crumple it up and throw it away, before the shadowed words start appearing in a rush. ]

you

[ He smudges it, too much all at once so the letter's barely fit, he's barreling through the door of the corner store to look for a pen, but that matters so much less now.

Is he alive? Are they both alive? Does it even matter? ]

of course not stop
asking stupid questions
that
dont mean anything!

are you still in that village?

[ the writing matches up now, messy, like the agent is having trouble keeping his words fluid. poor form, just like he remembers from the last time he spoke with the other. in the body of 130666, it was difficult even speaking with him and the large gaps between conversation became intimate.

baek saheon would wait, he had no choice, but his patience was always rewarding for both of them. ]

[ soleum contemplates how he should play this. is he still in that village? or has he moved on? should he play like time was moving, it would probably support what he said to saheon earlier, or should he play into the other's delusion that he hasn't been gone that long? it would be best to keep up how things were as soleum, no need to confuse saheon anymore than he already is.

he probably wonders how this boat even appeared. ]

ㅤㅤ

[ he's working, that's what agent grapes would say even though said agent is laying in their car going crazy. his mind makes gaps, stress causes words to drag longer than they should, he misses letters, but it remains the same throughout. ]

[ he'd be dead if it wasn't for him.

...

it seems baek saheon never learned the agent never knew how the boat actually worked. ]

[ He never learned. He never saw a single message, but this is fine. It's still so clearly that agent pitiable and admirable in equal measure. So useless, someone who wants to die, but alive. Saheon actually saved his life.

There's a long stretch of silence. No new words are written, only a few uneasy smudges appearing and disappearing on the paper, like a bleeding thumbprint is being smoothed over the words again and again.

When it starts again, the ink is black and the handwriting is neat. Someone found a pen. ]

I never made it out of Jisan, no thanks to you, agent.

[ There's another long pause. There is so much on Saheon's mind right now, so much he wants to say. How have you been? What disaster are you in right now? What is your actual name? What do you look like? How did you get Saheon's boat here? Is the Supernatural Management Bureau coming soon? Won't that be funny, Choi will be surprised Saheon got in contact first. Choi is dead. ]

And you're in another disaster now? How sad lol.

Was there any point in us helping eachother at all? lol. I didn't get a single reward.

[ there's relief in how soleum writes it from the agent's perspective, he would be satisfied knowing that baek saheon made it in some capacity. soleum? he doesn't care at the moment, how annoying the other can be, how he probably enjoys knowing he's fine. he would have complained by now if he wasn't.

how lucky. ]

[ the reply comes quicker than anything else.

but the mention of jisan would give anyone some pause. not the agent, though. between him and saheon, everything they've done together was within reason, for a reason. soleum rolls his eyes at the entitlement of wanting a reward, when does saheon, he always asks for something.

he is deserving, though.

at that time, he could have turned tail and left without doing anything. the agent was in a precarious situation he couldn't get out from, he was basically prey underneath the imposing claws of a large predator that would do away with him.

baek saheon had no reason to do anything.

he was free.

he was free.

but he doesn't have the news.

the news that soleum has, or well, his agent. ]

Barely. I had too...

[ His pen trails off on the paper... What is the point of writing the rest.

He wasn't rewarded, and neither was the agent. The agent cares that he's alive. Saheon presumably, has some interest in the interest of someone who cares that he's alive. It's common sense. Mutual benefit.

They both kept their word, even if it was all pointless in the end...even if it counts for nothing.

So why does reading this letter make him feel sick with longing and anticipation? ]

What news?

Is the DMB mounting a rescue now that one of your agents died?

[ is he hesitant, for what? baek saheon, ... for being left in the dark, kim soleum can grant you this one thing. for someone who feels nothing for what could have been their losses, he doesn't deserve this.

...

but he promised. ]

[ he makes sure the last is messy, hard to decipher, and the crumbs that he leaves should grab interest.

that's what kim soleum thinks anyway.

because there's one comment that catches his own interest.

mutual benefit.

... ]

what

[ it feels like his blood just turned to ice reading that. colder then how cold this apartment is, worse then seeing the agents empty room, a pit in his stomach, a tightness around his eyes. ]

the village is what?

[ why would the agent apologize, unless it was still there. saheon is here in the darkness, but he's lost so many months, april is just a short while away. if the village is still there he needs to return or he'll expire. he go insane. it wont matter what he has or hasn't done here, because he'll be a drooling incoherant shell that will recite the same inspid crap he's always hated and then kill itself or worse!

so who cares what he writes now. it all comes as a hurried scrawl. ]

i didnt kill him
please you have to get me out of herre is the village still there?

i didnt touch him. running away isnt murder. not wanting to die isnt a crime. i just wanted to leave.

[ saheon is selfish to a degree, a sort of character that focuses on the well-being of himself and very few people around him. the village is an important piece of him, it haunts him and shapes his actions to his very core. the concept of the village is that controlling, and he knows better than to give in with the answer.

it's just not time yet, or maybe he shouldn't. he desperately wants to know, even the incoming next emphasis how much that meant to him. ]

[ saying that doesn't sit well with him, though. it's because of how he says it, what does any of that have to do with anything else? in the face of danger, baek saheon is a coward who will save himself, so why does that matter if he wanted to leave?

they all wanted to leave!! ]

[ he'll dangle the carrot though, let him know how close he is. it's only fair even though kim soleum doubts saheon is even making sense. he's probably rambling, his mind too far gone when it comes to the concept of his village.

luckily, he'll talk. he'll say whatever he needs to get what he wants. what will he give for answers? ]

[ looks like they're losing connection!! or how soleum's trying to portray it anyway. ]

[ everything of course. the agent already knows everything about saheon anyway. what's a little more? ]

yeah.yeah yeah yeahyes

its okay. i lived its okay. it worked. i just asked but it worked.

like how you asked me and i helped?

[ grasping at straws, he helped the agent when he didn't have too, which was good. sleep helped him when she didn't have to, which was...it didn't mean anything. she didn't have to help him. he just asked. he just prayed to himself and something heard. ]

what do you want me to say? i wanted them all to die. thats not a crime it was just a

thought

please what happened to the village sir

[ ...

...

much like earlier, and luckily kim soleum had made the words fuzz out, fade from time to time as though they're going through a poor connection. he feels... annoyed, no, this feeling of disgust, no, this tight feeling in his gut where ooze draws up to his throat. baek saheon lived because he asked... for help?

if it was anyone else but agent choi or the other man with them, soleum would have never known. there are entities that can be reached, individuals who can bring back the dead— espera, one, there's sleep. what he knows of her, a young creature probably obsessed with the concept of romance, will probably throw a temper tantrum if her belongings are taken. could he, would he? it's not the first time baek saheon has called on the help of an entity that resulted in negative results.

fuck, fuck, fuck!

and he's happy about it?!

and they suffered for it?!

why couldn't it have been me who died?

selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish. ]

[ and if soleum could, if he could break baek saheon's jaw so he could no longer speak, if he could crush that brain of his underneath his work shoe that he could no longer think. if he could deface what makes baek saheon so appealing to supposed higher powers that they'd no longer look his way and he would have to suffer on his own with no one and nothing.

...

soleum doesn't even know if that would make him happy. ]

[ Saheon would probably prefer some of that, all of it maybe, to the nauseating anxiety he feels waiting for the words to appear on the page. It just doesn't matter if he did this or that, or who lived or died, when it's suddenly a matter of not just his life, but his tenuous grasp to human sanity. Haha. What he has left, anyway.

What is important about this? It's just how the world works. It's not unique or worth examining. The agent is stringing him along. He doesn't care, and Saheon doesn't have any good excuse with his brain like this. There are a thousand running disordered: they threatened me, they were going to kill me if i tried to run, they would have done the same, they were probably thinking the same thing, but he can't make sense of what the agent would want to hear. ]

why does it matter.

[ Because the honest truth is that he didn't want them to die for any reason at all. ]

we were going to die. i just wanted it to be them instead of me

and

andd

a

anybody would say yes then. you woudld? you would. it wasnt like i could take it back, and we were all dead anyway, so why does it matter if someone wants to help me?

[ there's blame, because there was no "we", there was never any "we", and kim soleum feels like he's talking to a dog that can't stop pissing on the floor. how many times will it take until he stops? ]

[ no one has to die for saheon to live, it's always been his choice who dies over and over again. before, even this time too, the fact he called upon some higher power and they listened to him. it drives a knife through soleum, he bleeds at the realization, if only he had known it was possible.

he didn't know. he should have done more. even if it was pinning the man down to keep redirect his focus on him, he should have done something. ]

....

[ But there's nothing to say. Outside the letter, he leans down against the cold surface of a nearby dumpster bin, the frozen putrid overflowing garbage, feeling the cold seep through his coat and into his back. There's nothing to say. The agent says that, because he's a good person, but all Saheon can think is that if the crime was wanting people to die, then that was a crime he committed every day, every hour, every conversation. He wished someone dead the second he saw them, for no other reason then he found their presence uncomfortable.

Help him. What a joke. What a stupid joke. The agent is such a fool.

He flips the boat over. The pen is in his hand. He flips the boat over. The pen touches the paper. He removes it. Puts it down. Removes it again. He flips the boat again. The words the agent wrote have already faded away, he's only staring at the ones singed in his memory.

He has to think of something, or he won't get answers. ]

do you want an apology

[ He can't do it. He can. It would only take writing, he doesn't need to think, he can find the words the agent wants to hear. ]

because i did it too you too

[ blood, effort, determination, help from others brought them back. an apology never did a thing, cursing at himself did nothing, there was nothing he can do that's as simple as saying a few simple words was able to bring them back. baek saheon should understand that, for his own circumstance, didn't it take him gambling on others to flee from his ugly livelihood? wasn't it risking it all on someone to handle it be the reason why...

however, when soleum thinks about why saheon felt that no one could help him, that he had to rely on something like that. isn't it the same song and dance from before, it's so ingrained into him that he would refer to it. it's why soleum should have been more mindful, but he was afraid himself, he couldn't do much because he's weak. ]